Anyway, he heavily recommended Our Dumb World: The Onion's Atlas of the Planet Earth. He has his own new book coming out in about a year. We wanted to get our copies of his older stuff autographed, but we had munchkins at home and a babysitter who needed to be saved. But I jotted down a few of my favorite lines and words of wisdom. All are paraphrased, obviously.
- "If you're the kind of guy that everyone tells their secrets too, fine. But if you're the kind that everyone stabs, it's time to make a change."
- "The two most repeated words on billboards between Memphis and Little Rock are Jesus... and catfish."
- "The man was wearing an enormous crucifix. The size you might reach for if you wanted to crucify a hamster."
- In response to a woman who claimed Sedaris' mother was her parenting inspiration: "To me, parents should not tell their kids they're special. They should say, 'You're a dime a dozen. I can always have another. Sure, that picture is nice and all, but, I mean... you're eight. I'm not hanging that on my fridge.'"