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September 16, 2010

Battle of the Betas ~ Part 2

Kate Hart
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How do you beta? That was the question Sarah Enni asked a few weeks ago. A group of us got together and answered using her first page. It was so fun that today we're doing round two, and author Alicia Gregoire has bravely stepped up to the proverbial plate. Here's my feedback on her first page (click to enlarge):

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Overall, I'd say Alicia is burying the coolest elements of her story inside explanations of less important things. Dump the backstory and start with the three-headed monster.

That's something I don't get to say every day. Ahhh the life of a writer.

Anyway. That's just one opinion-- check out Meredith, Windy, Sarah, Cory and Raven's blogs to see five more takes on this intro!

11 comments:

  1. I see that we had many of the same suggestions. It's always so cool to see what other betas pick up on.

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  2. What a cool idea! I hope you go through another round--I think it's cool to see everyone's feedback. :)

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  3. Pam, we plan on doing it once a month-- if you want to play along next time, shoot me an email! :)

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  4. I love your comments, especially the suggestion of starting with the Chimera laying in the sun, right before the attack. All the set-up can be provided later.

    And something about the jeans did jar me a bit--I think you said it perfectly, it brought me out of the fantasy element. But if he is a cowboy sorcerer, I am 100% on board.

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  5. I love this idea, I've had the pleasure of reading Alicia's novel a couple of times.

    Sadly I can't read the comments because photobucket is blocked at work. Lame.

    I'll check it out later.

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  6. Great idea you all had! Can't wait to see your next installment...now, I'm off to check out the others' comments :)

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  7. Love reading feedback and seeing what someone else picked up on/I missed or what we agreed/disagreed on!

    This is definitely a fun exercise. I say that now, until it's my 1st page slashed to bits ...

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  8. I didn't mind the jeans because she mentioned it was an urban fantasy, but I agree that more details are needed to establish this world much sooner. I like the suggestion of starting later.

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  9. Thanks for sharing. It also takes me a while to get engrossed in a fantasy.

    Thanks for sharing the critique. Very interesting.

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  10. Thanks, Kate. I'm sort of relieved that I should jump right in and backtrack.

    It's been a while since I've had a first draft of anything, so this was really educational.

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  11. I love how we all picked up on the same things. It's like we're all using the same brain waves.

    Totally agree with the "jeans" comment.

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