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April 13, 2011

Road Trip Wednesday: The Story of Your Scars

Kate Hart
Here are some things I've learned.

1) Do not scratch chicken pox. (Sorry, nose. Also, forehead.)

2) Do not mess with injuries that have started healing. (Sorry, knee-I-busted-open-on-the-playground-and-again-on-my-bike-and-couldn't-quit-picking-at.)

Photobucket 3) Do not attempt to open a package of bacon with a fillet knife. (Sorry, finger.)

4) Do not set a hot lantern on uneven ground. (Sorry, shin.)

5) Do not pet your boyfriend's family's dog with your foot. Despite having been friendly for three years, apparently he will turn into a sudden murderous ball of rage and your boyfriend will have to punch the dog in the face to remove him from your leg. (Sorry, calf. Just be glad we were wearing jeans, or half of you would be gone. Also, sorry, brain. We should really work on that fear of strange dogs thing you've developed since.)

6) Do not get all the way to ten centimeters and then find out your baby is breech. (Sorry, pelvis. I know that second kid was just insult to injury.)

7) Do not require surgery to fix problems resulting from failure to comply with #6. (Man, pelvis, you just can't win.) 

What are your best scar stories? Head over to YA Highway and play along! (Then come back and enter my t-shirt giveaway!)

20 comments:

  1. Those are SOME kind of scars! As always, excellent, creative post! I love reading your blog, Kate!

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  2. Yikes! You've been through it! Good thing scars add character, not to mention are a sort of journal you've always got with you.

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  3. It's weird, I always have some injury or other but hearing other people's stories makes me flinch so badly!

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  4. Yikes, you've been through the wringer!

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  5. Some good lessons painfully taught from the sounds of it! Youch!!

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  6. Yikes, you've taken a beating. Let's hope there's no #8 on your list. :)

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  7. some chilling crazed dog stories today. Makes me want to re-read the dog whisperer STAT.

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  8. Ouch. Wow - you have more interesting scars than I have tattoos. Wow.

    I'm reeling over the breech story - holy hours of torture - how long were you in labor?!

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  9. Should I feel guilty for laughing at your post? They all sound ouchy, but your storytelling is so hilarious.
    I love bacon, but no bacon is worth a scar.

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  10. This was a great post, Kate! I can totally relate to the childbirth scars. Luckily, mine weren't breech but, yeah, kids hurt.

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  11. Number six. Just, OW, number six!

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  12. Poor girl! But hilarious post. I don't know how you managed that combo. :-)

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  13. Man, I can never leave healing scratches alone. Those scabs. They are just so satisfying to peel off!

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  14. Wow, Kate--you sound like a rebel!

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  15. Thanks y'all. Rebecca - Definitely don't feel bad for laughing! I do!

    Alison - Not that long, actually. 4 hours, maybe? Not counting the time I spent at home. I got an epidural at 7cm, but was never really in pain, probably b/c he wasn't progressing. The nurses were in awe until we realized what was up. LOL

    Pam - ROFL, I'm so not. I just do dumb things.

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  16. May we also participate? Because this is just such a fun idea...

    1. Never ride off the sidewalk into the street without looking; you may ride into your older brother and lose two teeth.

    2. Never ride your older brother's bike (sensing a pattern?) really fast around a turn, skid out and rip a hole in your knee when your parents aren't home to take you to the ER because you will still have gravel in your leg in your 40s.

    3. Be cautious in your consumption of alcohol and salty snacks at the first party you attend after you wean your youngest child because it can lead to dehydration, passing out and waking up bleeding on the floor in front of his bedroom with no real memory of how you got there. And of course your husband is away on business, so you have to call one neighbor to watch the kids and another to drive you to the hospital.

    4. And of course, be really, really careful with the cheese grater.

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  17. Oops. Sorry. Just realized what I was supposed to do. Not muck up YOUR comments... So new at this.

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